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After Horse

by Thomas Nöla

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1.
After Horse 02:34
After horse. Between the green and gray. Until they turn away from the wrecking course. After horse. After horse. I heard blood-curdling wails. The last gasp of a whale on the metal shore. After horse. So watch what you say. You won’t feel the same. I know what’s for sale. And your horse is looking pale. After horse.
2.
Bewilder 03:32
In the games of men the oldest lie is harmony. I learned it once they tried to put it inside of me. I lost the plot. Lost my soul. Lost everything. Now the sense that something’s passing on I really need. Somewhere they’re bewildering. Do you think they’ll bewilder me? As a child I never dreamed I’d be in a wilderness like this. In the book of birds the truest word is harmony. I chased them down a steep incline called cruelty. You see all these razor wire deformities? So hunt me down in dreams. You might catch me. Somewhere they’re bewildering. Do you think they’ll bewilder me? As a child I never dreamed I’d be in a wilderness like this.
3.
Tearing the old house down. Like rivers drowning swans. Black growing in garden green. How old is this stone? How many years has that moss grown? Play this game and never be alone. Dark evening growing long. Over quays and lochs. Vintage hearts linger on. How old is this stone? How many years has that moss grown? Play this game and never be alone.
4.
One more time up Daydream Hill. Then goodbye. Lights go out on Daydream Hill one more time. Icicles on the stars. Moonlight in the wine. It’s so cold. I can’t hear a thing. It’s so still. I can’t feel at all. One more life on Daydream Hill. Then no more.
5.
Anomie 02:00
Anomie, I nearly went outside today. Then I closed the blinds and stayed inside. Anomie, one of these days I’ll pack a bag Of the essentials, not one ornamental. Anomie, and I’ll throw the rest out on the lawn. Douse it in gasoline, start fresh and clean. Anomie, now I don’t know what to do. I don’t care for me, don’t care for you. Anomie, between us there’s not a single thread. No, and not a threat upon my head. Anomie, I just sat down to write to you. But I have no idea where to send it to. Anomie, I nearly went outside today. Then I drew the blinds and closed my mind.
6.
You know that ice won’t melt itself. Even Lucifer needs the sun’s help. I heard you were in Chile then Mozambique. Crossed the Outback on foot. Or was that a dream? The sky bold blue, you were dressed so fine. All the springtime blooms had to run and hide. Don’t cry too much. Don’t smudge your face. That’s just your heart coming up for air. Don’t waste one more hour on despair. It’s only Old World passing away. People are so strange. I see them and I’ve got nothing to say. Sometimes we talk and you’re OK. But I just wish there were a billion mes to fill up the world, and we’d come together and our souls would merge and be formed perfectly, and no one would talk, and we’d call it peace. But these people you know. You worship these ghosts. Now they live in the past. It’s all “Look, but don’t touch” on the other side of some brutal wall of glass. Don’t cry too much. Don’t smudge your face. That’s just your heart coming up for air. Don’t waste one more hour on despair. It’s only Old World passing away. You and me, we were born to be still. And when I close my eyes there’s a gaping hole that nothing ever fills. Don’t cry too much. Don’t smudge your face. That’s just your heart coming up for air. Don’t waste one more hour on despair. It’s only Old World passing away.
7.
Got no time for the horrors I can’t wrap my mind around. Can’t unsee the visions, can’t unhear the sounds. And we can ignore the ghost. I saw the giant stag, the doe and the fawn. Deep in the ancient wood. But now they’re gone. And we can ignore the ghost. Come and see this wild and open land while it’s still here. We have ingenious ways of making it all disappear. And we can ignore the ghost. Can’t find a friend. Can’t find a cause. All these conversations with professional morons. And we can ignore the ghost. Say your spirit’s withered and you’re lost in empire noise. Shocked by sick totems and the silence they destroy. Well, we can ignore the ghost. Ignore the ghost. All these future eaters are hungry and so bold.
8.
There’s nothing good, not even with eyes closed. Nothing here I want to see. Now the only currency is fear. So baby, you’re a billionaire. And there’s a numbing agent on my skin. Numbing in the bed. Numbing on the streets. So tell me… Are you happy yet? Someday we’re gonna firebomb our hearts. So we can count the casualties. But we know nothing ever interrupts our material dreams. And there’s a numbing agent on my skin. Numbing in the bed. Numbing on the streets. So tell me… Are you happy yet?
9.
Worm, life of the fly. Worm, world on a pin. Worm, barely alive. Worm, heir to nothing. Let no one’s sad soul, bent and deceiving, rule the day low and deforming. No. Squirrel, child of the field. Squirrel, roundly despised. Squirrel, I watched over you. Squirrel, couldn’t do a thing. Lost in a dream of yesterday’s crying. Chasing a scheme of tomorrow’s spying. No. Burn, remains of a king. Burn, ashes to snow. Burn, vacuum to stars. Burn, nothing to fill. So wave to the men and women who go now into the past as infinite echoes. Death was the word, secret to ages. Death scrawls boldly on sad morning pages now.
10.
Empty Room 03:27
There’s an empty room in Remnant Motel. Between the overpass and the factory stacks that put poison in the air. I have this voucher here. Watching from Bleak Street, nothing ever works. Nobody walks straight. Weeds shoot up the side of Remembrance Hall. Barricades for crowd control. There’s an empty room. It’s always hot. Nobody shuts up. Walls, beige, big, gray. Sprayed across the wall. Left open so. Never on. Semi-formed. Stray dogs rounded. Target numbers on the wall. Living in the hall. Nasty struggle, stairs. Faces in the wall. Young girls losing their hair in patches. Young girls yellow fingernails, slimy, drop off. Old men living together in the hall. Old men. One gets discovered in the bath. Power hole. No language known. No place of home. Night control. No-go zone. Hope patrol. Signal triggers tigers on the prowl. Bolted tight. Electric light. Transitional. There’s something on the wall. 5 mile central ditch. Limp down inside on boulevards. And dreams of red. Three peace officers for every citizen. Tenants on the streets. Get them off the streets. Set their spirits free. Get them off the street. Set the spirits free. There’s an empty room.
11.
The Mink 02:16
The mink slinks down to the river bed. Down to the water’s edge. Far from danger. The mink runs through the virgin field, knows what she truly feels in her soul. The mink gathers what food she needs, knows only little fears: death and hunger. The mink burrows herself a hole, holds her children close through the evening. The mink stays in her winter home to sleep until the world all turns green. Green. Forever.
12.
The march of men down empty roads is nothing new. Not how they act as if they’re more than shadows passing through. No peace and love. Just pieces of fodder for a cold world war. Jungle laws for cold dead hearts. They say “Slip into the night”. Just turn your cheek so you don’t see the ways that they misgrow. No style or grace have they ever known. This feeling lingers like a curse. Or some new chemical cloud that dumbs you down and makes your skin peel off. Then you slip into the night. I stumbled into bargains in this struggle for a soul. We forfeited some dreams to steel control. We’ll get so giddy, drunk on something shiny and absurd. I think it’s wrong but now I’m not so sure. And we slip into the night. Am I reaching you tonight? Are you deaf and dumb? I wrote your name in chalk but you won’t come. Now I’ve been up the whole night long, I don’t know what to do. Yeah, I saw it and it shocked me too. Will we slip into the night? Just pack the car and leave the rest. We’ll burn it to the ground and disappear without making a sound. There’s a borderline somewhere, innocent and wild. And if it lets us down we’ll have to hide. We’ll slip into the night.

about

After Horse
Words and music by Thomas Nöla
Recorded and mixed by Adam Langelotti in Greenfield, MA in the spring and summer of 2016 with additional recording and mixing by Nöla at Lapin Tonstudio, VT. Mastered at Lapin Tonstudio.

credits

released March 2, 2017

Nöla – Vocals, piano, guitars, electric and upright bass, percussion, Hammond organ, synthesizers, bugle, harp, melodica, glockenspiel, wine glasses, singing drum, wind chimes, bagpipes, field recordings

Karen S. Langlie - Cello

Adam Langelotti – 6 string bass, trombone, effects

Produced by Thomas Nöla and Adam Langelotti
Released by Disques de Lapin in 2017
www.eskimofilms.com

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